


Dear Jon

by Phxreign



Series: This is Country Music (AKA works inspired by country songs) [2]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Choose Your Own Ending, F/M, First Love, Inspired by Music, Loss of Virginity, Love Letters, Vietnam War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-06 19:24:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15201755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phxreign/pseuds/Phxreign
Summary: She stopped when she felt him grab her hand. She turned back and he quickly released her as his cheeks turned a deep red. “I’m sorry,” he said quickly.“No worries, did you need something else?”“Any chance you could sit with me for a bit? It’d be nice to have someone to talk to that might understand.”“I can’t,” she began and watched his face fall. “Right now,” she added quickly. “I’m off in a just a little bit though. How about you eat and then I know a place we can go.”ORA chance meeting in a diner changes Sansa’s life.Inspired by "Travelin' Soldier" by The Dixie Chicks





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So it's been a stressful week at work and home, and since writing is cheaper than therapy, here we are. I plan to have the whole thing posted by the end of the weekend. 
> 
> Also in hind sight I realize now that this probably should've been the story I wrote for the historical event, though I claim no historical accuracy. Oh well, here it is now.

"Order up Sansa," Hobb called as he rung the bell. Sansa hurried to the pass and scooped up the plates of burgers and fries and whisked them off to the group in the corner booth. She checked the adjacent tables for drink refills and dropped off the check to another.

The diner was mostly quiet. It was midafternoon, the calm period after the lunch rush but before the dinner rush. Only four tables were occupied. She checked her watch, she had worked the early shift today and had less than an hour left. With everyone situated, she headed behind the counter to start rolling silverware for the dinner rush.

She'd only been working at Crossroads Diner since Spring Break, but she had quickly found she liked it. And as far as summer jobs went, well she knew there were far worse ones. Not only was the pay better, given the tips, but the diner was far preferable to a season life-guarding at the community pool where inevitably Joffrey and his cronies would ogle her and make rude comments.

The diner sat on the edge of town, where the main road into town met the interstate. Even with its removed location, it was still plenty busy with traffic from the interstate and the bus station next door. Plus, the location was beautiful. The Crosswords sat on the edge of a large lake. In the evening you could stand behind the diner, or go down to the docks, and watch the sunset. But the best part to her was that because of its location, most of the kids from her school didn't frequent it, and that was something she cherished given the way the school year had ended.

She looked up as the bell tinkled and she saw a man enter. He was handsome, with dark eyes and dark hair. He looked back at her and it felt like he was looking into her soul. His gaze nearly stole her breath. The spell was broken when she heard a clang in the kitchen and Hobb cry out, "Shit!" followed moments later by, "I'm alright!"

"Hi. You can sit anywhere you like. I'll bring you a menu," she said. He gave her a quick nod and headed to the side of the diner no one was sitting in. She finished the roll she'd been in the middle of and then grabbed a menu from the back counter and headed towards him. He was staring out the window towards the lake and it gave her a moment to study him. She hadn't noticed it until now, she'd been too distracted by his eyes, but she realized he was in an army uniform. A large green duffel bag was in the seat across from him. She thought he seemed a bit sad, lonely perhaps.

"Coming or going?" she asked as she placed the menu in front of him.

"What?" he asked as he turned and looked up at her, his brow furrowed a bit. She couldn't help but think it made him more handsome.

"I – well I don't think I've seen you before. So I figure you're either waiting on the bus or just got off the last one."

"Oh. Well a bit of both I guess. I just get off the last one, but I'm waiting for the one leaving tonight for Texas."

"I see. Well I hear it's very hot down there in the summers."

"So I'm told."

They smiled at each other for a brief moment. She wanted to say more but someone from one of the other tables called out to her. "I'll be right back to take your order," she said before heading back across the diner.

After cashing out a young couple and refilling the drinks for the corner booth, she headed back to the man.

"So what can I get you?'

"I'll have the turkey club with fries and a coke."

"That's one of my favorites," she told him with a smile. "I'm Sansa by the way."

"Jon."

"Well it's nice to meet you Jon. I'll go put in your order."

She turned and went back behind the counter, put in his order and then took him his coke.

"You headed to Fort Hood?" she asked.

"How'd you know?"

"It's where my brother went for basic training. He's at Fort Bragg now, but he expects orders for Vietnam any day now."

"He's with the 82nd then?"

"Yeah." A sad smile tugged at her lips. She always got a little sad when she thought of Robb. He had volunteered though. He wanted to do his service, just like their father and uncle had in World War II.

The bell chimed, she turned to see a couple entering. "Excuse me. Your order should be up really soon."

She sat the new customers and cashed out the corner booth. Just as she finished clearing their table she heard Hobb ring the order bell.

She went to the window and grabbed the platter and took it to Jon. "I hope you like it," she said as she placed it in front of him with a smile.

"Looks good," he said giving her a shy smile back. She turned to go take the order of the new customers but stopped when she felt him grab her hand. She turned back and he quickly released her as his cheeks turned a deep red. "I'm sorry," he said quickly.

"No worries, did you need something else?"

"Any chance you could sit with me for a bit? It'd be nice to have someone to talk to that might understand."

"I can't," she began and watched his face fall. "Right now," she added quickly. "I'm off in a just a little bit though. How about you eat and then I know a place we can go."

He let out a breath and smiled. "Alright, thanks."

She left him to go take the order of the new table and put it in to the kitchen. She went back to rolling silverware, occasionally watching him eat and stare out the window. Sometimes he would meet her glance and give her a soft smile.

Shae arrived just as she finished clearing Jon's table. "Who's that?" she whispered as she set her purse under the counter.

"He's just passing through," Sansa told her.

"Too bad. He's a fine looking man. And that uniform, mmm," she said with a raised eyebrow.

For some reason the comment made her blush. "Well my shift's over. I know Roz isn't in yet, but you ok on your own if I go?"

"Maybe you want to cash him out first?"

Jon was approaching them, his ticket in hand. "How as everything?" Sansa asked as she rung him up.

"Great thank you." She closed out the ticket and handed him his change. "Keep it. Are you ready?" he responded.

"Yes," she said as she reached down and grabbed her purse. "See you tomorrow Shae." She followed Jon out the door leaving Shae gapping after them.

"So where's this place you're taking me?" Jon asked at he placed his duffle bag in the trunk.

"Just around the corner," she answered as they got in the car. She turned it on and drove them a short distance around the lake to docks. It was a Monday and still early in the season, the place was mostly deserted. They got out of the car and walked down towards the water.

"It's nice here," he said.

"It's one of my favorites. Sometimes when I work a bit later I like to come watch the sunset here. Speaking of, what time does your bus leave?"

"Not till ten."

"Wonderful, then you'll get to see the sunset."

"Oh, you don't have to keep me company that long. I imagine you got a boyfriend waiting on you. I won't want to get you in trouble."

"You won't be getting me in trouble," she said. "I don't have a boyfriend," she added. She saw his eyes brighten just a little and realized it took the sting out of her admission.

"You sure? I can't imagine a girl as pretty as you won't have a fellow."

"I'm quite sure. So sadly for you, you're just going to have to suffer through the sunset with me." He smiled then, a bright genuine one. She quite liked how it made him look. "You should smile more, you have a lovely one." He laughed then and she instantly felt her cheeks start to burn. She couldn't believe she was being so forward, but there was something about him that made her so comfortable. It felt like she'd known him for years. She laughed at the thought though, because at the moment, other than his name, she knew very little about him. "So tell me about yourself," she said to take the attention off herself.

So he proceeded to tell her about himself. He was from a bit further north. He had graduated high school two years ago. He had planned to go to college, but his mother had gotten sick that summer. She had passed away several months ago. Her illness had wiped them out financially. He had felt as if he had few options, he decided then that instead of waiting to be drafted, he would volunteer. He had finished basic training last week and was now on his way to his new station. His story had broken her heart a little.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry," he said as they sat on the end of the dock.

"It's ok. My mother always says I just have a tender heart." She swiped at her right cheek. She met his gaze and he reached out and slid his hand over her left cheek. She swallowed thickly as they kept looking at each other.

"Well now it's your turn. Tell me about yourself Sansa Stark," he said.

She started with the easy stuff, telling him about her parents, her sister and three brothers. She told him about the family's many dogs and how Lady was her favorite and the best behaved of the lot. She told him about Robb going off to the army, how they all worried, but how they were also so very proud of him. She told him how she thought she wanted to be a nurse one day, and then finally she told him why she had no boyfriend. She told him the whole terrible tale of Joffrey. He was the first person she had ever told the truth to, and he had listened, really listened, and she hadn't felt judged. When she finished he hugged her and again wiped her tears away.

The sun was beginning to set and she knew their time together was growing short. "Can we just sit for a bit while we watch the sun go down?" he asked.

"Yes, I'd like that." She shivered then, she wasn't sure if it was from the breeze or something else.

"Are you cold?" he asked taking notice.

"It's fine."

"May I?" he asked as he raised his arm. She nodded and snuggled into him. He wrapped his arm around her and she could've swore he had quickly smelled her hair. It made her smile and she snuggled in a little closer and rested her head on his shoulder.

They watched the sunset over the lake and watched as the fireflies started to peek out in and among the cattails that edged the lake. She snuck a peek at her watch and knew she needed to take him back to the bus station soon.

"I'm guessing it's about that time," he said, almost as if he had read her mind.

She sat up and looked at him. "Yeah, you should probably be there a little early in case they're running ahead of schedule."

"Alright," he said as he rose to his feet and offered her his hand. She took it and stood up facing him. She didn't release his hand and they held each other's gaze in the ebbing twilight. She sighed as a breeze ruffled their hair. He looked nervous suddenly and took a deep breath. "Sansa….. Would it be alright if -"

"Yes!"

"You don't even know what I was going to ask," he laughed, smiling widely.

She felt herself blushing again. He raised his free hand and placed it on her cheek, the pad of his thumb sweeping over her cheek bone gently. "You're beautiful when you blush," he whispered. She sighed at his words and felt herself blushing even deeper. And then he leaned in and kissed her. It took her breath away. Sansa knew in that moment that there would never be another moment in her life that would be as romantic as this one.

He gently drew her against him, one hand on her waist and the other on her neck. She kissed him back, her hand placed against his chest, feeling his heart hammering through his uniform. After a couple minutes they drew apart and stood with their heads tipped together. "So what were you going to ask?" she asked a bit breathlessly.

He took a breath and let her go. He seemed shy again. His hand went to the back of his neck and he looked away before looking back at her. "Well I told you earlier, I've got no one really…. I wanted to ask if it would be ok if I wrote to you? It'd be nice to have someone to write to, to have someone that cared…."

"I'd like that Jon. I really would."

A look of relief washed over his face and he kissed her again. "Thank you. It means a lot."

She smiled and then glanced at her watch again. "We have to go," she said trying to hide the sadness in her voice.

"Yes, of course." He took her hand and they walked back to the car. They drove back to the bus station. She wrote down her address and he tucked it into his wallet. She waited with him until the bus came. He kissed her goodbye and promised to write as soon as he was settled. She stood and watched him go, waving into the darkness as the bus turned out on to the interstate.

She got in her car doing her best to fight back the tears. She couldn't believe she was acting like this. She had just met this man a few hours ago. She pulled herself together and drove home.

"Where have you been?" her sister, Arya, asked as soon as she entered the front door.

'Falling in love,' she answered in her mind. "I had to work a double," she answered instead.

"Ugh sounds terrible, what a waste of a day."

"But it was the most wonderful day ever." She realized by the look on Arya's face that that she had said those words out loud instead of in her mind.

She tried to think of something else to say to cover her blunder, but Arya just shook her head and began to walk away. "You're such a Pollyanna," she heard her sister say.

She didn't care, she would not let anyone, but especially Arya, ruin this day for her. And before anyone else could try, she ran up the stairs to her room and closed the door. She took out a sheet of the lemon scented stationary her mother had gotten her for her last birthday and sat at her desk. A smile pulled at her lips as she remembered the afternoon. Sighing at the memory of his lips pressed to hers, she picked up her pen.

"Dear Jon," she began.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the many lovely comments for the first chapter! They mean so much!

They spent the next several months writing, what most people would consider, a ridiculous amounts of letters to each other. In the beginning it had just been one a week, but the more they got to know each other, the more they wanted to share. It had only taken a few weeks for the frequency to increase. Eventually it had increased to the point that if they didn't write each other every day, then it was at least every other.

At first no one in her family had seemed to take notice. Since it was summer when this had all started, she'd been able to skim those initial letters from the mailbox and hide them away before anyone else could see them. But as the letters became more and more frequent, it wasn't so easy to hide them. It was Arya who noticed first, calling Sansa out one late summer afternoon by asking her rather loudly in front of their parents, why had she gotten three letter from Texas this week. She saw no reason to lie, so while blushing furiously, she had told them all the truth.

Her mother thought it was sweet, quickly launching in to her own memories of the letters she and their father had written during World War II. That evening she even showed Sansa the box that was full of all the ones she had kept. Arya, never one for romance, thought it was strange and continued to tease her about it. Her brothers just wanted to know if he knew Robb.

They all missed Robb. He had shipped out to Vietnam in mid July. Everyone in the family did their best to put on a brave face, never speaking their fears aloud. She was thankful she didn't have to do that with Jon. She had been able to tell him everything she felt, the pride, and the fear. He did his best to comfort her, but he never lied to her about the war. He told her of the stories he had heard of the conditions over there. She appreciated his honesty, but it did clearly nothing to lessen her worries for either of them.

When she had gone back to school she had told her friends all about him. And at first her friends had thought it terribly romantic, but when Sansa had declined Harry Hardying's invitation to the Homecoming dance, they had started to question if it was a good idea for her to spend so much time writing a boy she'd met only once.

"It's senior year after all. Do you really want to waste it pining over some boy you barely know?" More than one of them had asked.

She would just smile and thank them for their concerns. But she also knew that while her friends were spending their time fretting over dresses and make up and how far to let a boy put his hands up their skirts, she was falling totally and completely in love.

That was the reason she truly didn't care what they thought. She also knew there was no way anyone could understand the bond that she and Jon now had. He was her person, and she was his. She had quickly found that she could be more honest with him in their letters than she could with anyone in person. She regularly told him things she had never shared with anyone and he often did the same. She had commented on this to him once in a letter, he had written back that he felt exactly the same. Because of that, she felt she knew him better than anyone else in her entire life. And that was another reason her friends opinions didn't bother her. Because at the end of the day, she was certain she knew him better, more intimately, than any of her friends knew any of the boys they had gone to third base or further with.

Shortly after Thanksgiving she received a letter from him telling her he was getting leave for Christmas and he wished to see her. She had screamed for joy and burst into happy tears. Arya had come running only to shake her head and run off when Sansa had tried to get her to dance in a circle with her.

When she had told her friends about it at school the next day, they had not seemed excited for her, going as far as telling her she should be nervous. After all it had been months since they had seen each other. What if he wasn't how she remembered? What if she wasn't what he remembered? She had tried to ignore their words much as she had before, but this time it didn't seem to work.

And that was why she found herself waiting at the bus station two days before Christmas, nervously wringing her hands and wondering if this was going to be a mistake. What if seeing each other again did ruin things?

She felt an ache grow in her stomach as she heard the bus approaching. It rumbled to a stop and the doors opened and several people got out. For a moment she thought about fleeing, but then she saw him step off the bus. He was so handsome in his uniform. He smiled widely and her heart stopped exactly as it had the first time she'd seen him. The ache was gone, replaced by excited butterflies, as she rush towards him. She flung herself into his arms and he kissed her as he spun her around.

"I can't believe I let them worry me," she murmured as he set her down.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. I just…. I can't believe you're here." She felt tears of joy falling down her cheeks.

"I knew you were going to cry," he teased and wiped her cheeks much like the day they met.

He gathered his bag and took her hand as they walked back to the car. He threw the bag in the back and got in. They kissed again and Sansa couldn't stop crying.

"Do I need to drive?" he asked as he drew back.

"No. Just one more minute," she said taking a deep breath.

They left the bus station and drove back towards her house. She felt her nerves growing again as they got closer. She could tell his were as well.

"It was very kind of your parents to allow me to stay here," he said. "I hope you thanked them for me."

"I did, but I'll let you decide if you're still grateful after the stay, especially since my father will be giving you "the talk."

"The talk?"

"Not that "talk!" The talk where he's going to tell you he loves me, that this is a house of rules, and you will make sure that you stay in Robb's room at night, talk." Jon's cheeks flamed and he swallowed. "He's going to love you, don't worry."

"Is it strange that I feel like I already know them?"

"Not at all."

A short time later they arrived at the Stark home and were promptly greeted by Ned, Catelyn and a curious Bran and Rickon. Arya didn't appeared until around dinner time.

As she had predicted the family loved Jon, even Arya. It didn't spare him "the talk" from Ned, but at least it had been more of a gentle reminder than a stern warning or a threat.

They celebrated Christmas together. Jon was introduced to Uncle Benjen, who took an immediate liking to him as well. It turned out he had gone to basic training at Fort Hood. He and Jon spent a good amount of time trading stories over after dinner drinks.

They spent much of the rest of the week with her siblings, ice skating, sledding and building snow forts for a massive snowball fight. Her siblings were quite taken with him. She knew in some ways, that for them, having Jon there was like having a version of Robb home. And though for a brief initial moment she had been a bit jealous that they were commanding so much of his time, she had quickly let it go when she saw the joy it brought both him and them. And near the end of the week when he had told her one evening, that this was one of the first times in his life that he felt like he belonged to a whole family, she knew she had been wise to share him.

Jon was leaving on January 2nd. In the meantime, they had plans to go to the New Year's Eve party at Alys Karstark's home. Her parents had even given her permission to stay out until 2 am. They had gotten ready for the party and as they drove there, he had asked if she had her heart set on going.

"Do you not want to go?"

"I'll go if you want. But it suddenly hit me that I'm leaving the day after tomorrow and we've barely had any time alone together."

She smiled at that. "Tell you want. We'll stop by the party, say hi and then we can go anywhere you like."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, there's nothing I'd like more than to be alone with you."

They stayed at the party for just over an hour. Her friends had been impressed, mainly just gaping at him most of the time. She couldn't help but feel a sense of vindication knowing that she was unlikely to hear any of them ever tell her she was wasting her youth again. After they had completed their rounds, they quietly said goodbye to Alys and snuck out before anyone could try and talk them in to staying.

They drove out to the lake. It was nearly frozen over. They got out of the car and walked down to the dock. They held on to each other and carefully walked down to the end of it.

"You know, whenever things get hard I think of that day on this dock. That memory has carried me through some rough times," he said.

"I think about that day a lot too. I think I fell in love with you that day." She felt the blood rush to her cheeks. They had said it in letters, but this was the first time she had said it out loud to him.

"I love you too," he said and then kissed her. It was just as magical as the first one they had shared in this same place.

They drew apart and he places his hands on her cheeks and looked at her with his deep dark eyes. "I'm going to cling to these moments always." His voice was twinged with an overwhelming tone of sadness and longing.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she took his hands from her cheeks and held them in her own.

"I'm shipping out. I'll be in Vietnam by the end of next week."

Sansa felt her heart drop. She knew she should say something, Jon's eyes were searching hers for reassurance.

"I'll miss you," was all she could manage before burying herself into his chest. She tried not to cry, but it was a losing battle and she soon found herself racked by sobs. He held her and when she finally looked up at him, she found he was crying to.

"It's going to be ok," she said pulling herself together. "We'll keep writing and I'll be right here when you get back."

"You will?" She could hear the desperation in his voice.

"I swear it." He kissed her then. The kiss tasted of salt and sorrow. "I want to take you somewhere else," she said as they drew apart.

He nodded and they went back to the car. They drove away from the lake and she turned on to the interstate. She took the next exit and pulled into the rundown motel there. She parked the car and turned to him.

"I want you to go rent us a room."

"Sansa… we don't have to. It doesn't need to be like this."

"Yes it does. We've never been anything but honest which each other, let's not start to lie now." Their eyes locked, so many unspoken things passed between them, and then Jon gave her a quick nod and got out of the car and went into the lobby.

He came back with the key to room 6 and they went inside. It was nicer inside than she had expected. It wasn't anything special, but it was at least clean. She took off her coat and moved towards the bed.

"Are you sure?" he asked as he removed his coat and set it on the nearby chair.

"I've never been more certain of anything in my life." She stood before the bed nervously playing with her hair. She knew if they didn't do this tonight, she would always regret it. She didn't want to say the words out loud, but she knew they both knew this might very well be the only chance they would ever have.

He stepped to her and kissed her. "I love you," he whispered against her lips. She whimpered as he pulled her nearer still and ran his tongue over her lower lip. She parted her lips to accept his tongue.

They slowly removed each other's clothes. When they were down to just their underwear, laying on the bed pressed together, he asked her once more if she was certain. "You're not talking me out of this. If you don't want to though, just tell me," she said.

"Oh, I want this, believe me. You have no idea how many nights I've lain awake in the barracks thinking of nothing but this. I just don't want you to regret it."

She placed a hand on his cheek and looked him straight in the eyes. "I will never regret this." He kissed her again, deeper this time as he removed her bra. The feeling of his hands on her breasts and then the pressure when they were pressed against his chest, made her feel like she had fire in her veins. Eventually he rolled her on to her back and hooked his fingers in her panties. He slowly drew them down her legs. He told her she was beautiful before he began to kiss his way up her legs.

When he moved his head in between her thighs, she couldn't stop from gasping and trying to squirm away. He had smiled up at her as he held her hips and told her to trust him. And so she did.

When he finished, she was panting boneless mess, and he looked smugly pleased with himself. She told him to stop smiling at her like that, but it had only made him smile more. She flicked her gaze to his boxers and he grew serious again. He didn't ask her if she was ready, but she nodded to answer his unspoken question all the same.

He stood next to the bed and shed his boxers. He put on the condom that he had kept in his wallet, and then got back in bed with her. He hovered over her, between her legs, and drew her into a deep kiss as he slowly began to slide inside her. He went slow, pushing through the resistance as gently as possible. She was relieved to find it didn't hurt as much as some of the other girls had led her to believe.

Once she was ready they began to move together. Sometime later she threw her head back and cried out his name. Moments later he buried his face into the crook of her neck, groaning her name and shuttering as he came.

They lay together afterwards, Sansa imaging a future in which they would do this very same thing on every rainy or cold afternoon. Jon held her tightly, but he seemed far away, lost in his own thought.

"You don't regret it do you?" she asked as she brushed a stray lock of hair from his forehead.

"No, of course not."

"Then what is it?"

"I just hate the thought of being so far away from you after this... I don't even know when I'll be able to write you or when your first letter will reach me."

"It's going to be ok."

"Promise me you won't worry if I'm not able to write for a while."

"I'll always worry, but I'll do my best not to let it ruin me. Just promise me you'll come home to me."

"I love you and I will do my best to come back to you," he assured her before kissing her forehead. She smiled up at him, masking the fact that she was using all of her willpower to resist pointing out the fact that he hadn't actually "promised" he'd come back to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Let's out the breathe I've been holding*
> 
> Alright dear readers, I need your help.
> 
> I actually have two endings written for this story. Two endings that I actually love and feel are both appropriate and true to the story. (If you have listened to the song by now I think you know what one of those endings is.) So here's my question - would you prefer I just pick the ending and post one, or would you prefer I post both endings and let you pick the one you'd prefer. 
> 
> I know, it's totally unconventional and I will probably never do it on any other story, but honestly both of the endings I wrote I love in their own way, so at the moment of this posting I am truly torn. (Also I grew up in the era of choose your own adventure books, so maybe it is just a call back to that??)
> 
> Anyways feel free to weigh in below. I'm hoping to post the ending/s either tonight or tomorrow.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	3. The non song ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone on your responses! I am going to post both of the endings since that was the overwhelming request. So chapter 3 (the non song ending) is the "happier" of the two. Chapter 4 (the song ending) is the one that will be true to the source material. If anyone reads both I'd love to get your thoughts on which you liked better. (There are specific details and events that both chapters share, so forgive the repetition.) 
> 
> Also consider this a blanket apology for any crying that might result..... but then sometimes you need an ugly cry. So if that's the case for you, you're welcomed??
> 
> Anyways, thanks to everyone that has read, kudos and commented on this fic. It has very much been the therapy I needed this weekend!

"Sans," Robb's voice cut through her hazy dream. She groaned and rolled over on her towel to look up at her brother.

"Did I fall asleep? What time is it?"

"You need to come inside." She quickly sat up, fully awake now due to the tone of Robb's voice. She searched around for her shoes and then followed after him before she could asking why. She trailed behind, realizing for the first time that he had gotten rather quick on his crutches.

It still broke her heart that he'd lost his leg in the war. He was still trying to get use to his prosthetic, so many days he just found it easier to use his crutches.

She followed him through the kitchen and towards their father's study. When she entered, she found both of her parents in the room. They were talking quietly to a man in an army uniform. She could tell by his shoulders he was a lieutenant.

As soon as she entered they all stopped talking and turned to look at her. She knew immediately why he was here. She suddenly felt light headed, the urge to vomit quickly became overwhelming.

"What's going on?" she asked, her voice barely above a whispered. She knew this day might eventually come. Some nights as she lay in bed, she had even thought it would be a relief to finally know. But now faced with the actual reality of it, she wanted nothing more than to run. She would far prefer to cling to her unfounded hope for the rest of her life, than to hear the truth they were about to tell her.

"Maybe you should sit down," her mother said reaching for her.

"No, just… just tell me what's going on," she said pulling back, the tears already spilling out.

The lieutenant shifted uncomfortably at the sight of her tears and glanced at her father. An understanding seemed to pass between the two men.

"Sansa, they've finally found him," her father began.

She collapsed to the floor then, a heartbreaking wail tearing from her throat. She had always known this was the most likely outcome, but it made it no less devastating. Jon had been MIA, presumed KIA, for two long years now. And for most of that time she has still clung to the tiniest hope that he would turn up. Even now when faced with the truth, part of her still refused to believe she had been wrong to cling to that hope.

It had taken an excruciating six long weeks for her to get his first letter after he had left for Vietnam. At the time she had thought it had been the longest six weeks of her entire life. The day his first letter had arrived she had burst into tears, hugging their mailman for a full two minutes while she had sobbed hysterically. It had caused her mother to nearly faint thinking they had gotten a telegram about Robb. It had then been left up to Arya to peel her off poor Mr. Luwin, apologizing to the old man before hauling her inside.

And so their correspondence began anew. She wasn't sure how, but their letters grew even deeper, more passionate. She originally had thought it had been because the night in the motel had left them so deeply bonded, but she had come to realize that at the time of his writing, he was experiencing something far more dark and difficult, and therefore it was just as likely that he had a deep need to feel connected to her.

His letters had varied widely. Sometimes they spoke of fond memories, of the lake and his time with her family that Christmas. Sometimes they spoke of her beauty, of the way she smiled and how her eyes sparkled like deep pools of water. And sometimes he would even recall what she smelled like and how she had tasted when she came. Those letters always made her blush deeply. They were also the the ones she kept in a locked box, less Arya or her mother find them. But sometimes his letters would take a dark turn. She always told him to be honest, that he did not need to protect her from his reality. But when she had received a letter in which he had told her how one of the guys in his platoon had been shot in the neck and how he had watched as he die in his other friend's arms, she had been deeply shaken. It never got easier and she would weep for hours each time he told her he had lost one of his brothers.

Because of that, she did her best to only tell him happy things. Her letters were filled with stories of Arya, Bran and Rickon's antics, of the things Lady or the other dogs did. And in every letter, she made a point to remind him of the life that awaited him once he came home. She promised him her father would help him find a job, that one day they would build a house near the lake. A place where they would eat dinner on the patio in the summer and watch the sunset. He wrote back that he dreamed of those same things, telling her how much her words gave him hope, that her words kept him going no matter how bad it got there.

In the end it had almost worked. Despite everything, he had managed to survive nearly the entire twelve month deployment. In the last letter she had ever received from him, he had told her he would call her as soon as he was state side, but then he had added a p.s. in which he told her that he also had half a mind to just show up on her doorstep and surprise her. She would just have to wait and see what he chose. That was also the same letter in which he told her that he also couldn't want to talk to her father, to ask him for his blessing. He made it clear that he had every intention of marrying her as soon as it could be arranged. Her heart had soared at his words.

Which was probably the reason she had slapped the man that had delivered the Western Union telegram to her. She had opened her front door on a late Sunday winter afternoon, hoping against her better judgement, to see Jon standing there. Instead she had been greeted by a telegram telling her he had gone missing and was presumed dead, though no one knew for sure. She probably would've done worse to the delivery man if her father hadn't restrained her. She hadn't even realized she was screaming until he had locked his arms around her and dragged her from the doorway.

She had learned some months later from his friend, Sam, what had happened. He explained that their platoon had been caught in an ambush less than a week prior to their scheduled departure. They had come under heavy enemy fire and Jon had been seriously wounded. Unable to walk, he had told the others that he would lay down cover fire so that the rest of them could evacuate. They hadn't seen him die, but Sam was rather certain he won't have survived. He did his best to comfort her, reassuring her that Jon had loved her more than life itself, that he often read the funny part of her letters aloud to lift everyone's spirits. "I know it's strange, but I feel like I know you in a lot of ways," Sam had told her.

"Trust me, it's not that strange. I feel exactly the same," she had responded.

She entered into a period of mourning after that, it was one that was still going on and apparently was about to begin anew. She had nearly dropped out of nursing school the first time, but Arya had convinced her that Jon won't want that for her. And so she had stayed on, she wasn't sure if this time she would be able to do so.

"Sansa! Did you hear me?" her father's voice broken through her thoughts then. He was crouched in front of her, his hands on her shoulders, begging her to look at him. She shook her head, unable to speak. "I said he's alive. They found him, they found him alive."

"What?" she sobbed, still not understanding.

"He's alive Sansa. He was being held in the jungle all this time, but he's alive," Ned repeated.

She started to sob again and threw her arms around her father. He held her tightly and let her cry. She wasn't sure how long they sat on the floor of his study, but eventually when her tears had stopped, he helped her stand. Everyone else had left the room by then. He guided her to the kitchen were her mother was serving coffee to the lieutenant. He was sitting at the table talking softly with Robb and Arya.

"Is it true? Did you really find him alive?" she asked the lieutenant.

"We did. He'll be back stateside in the next couple of weeks. They'll be taking him straight to Walter Reed."

"I need to see him."

"I already bought your bus ticket," Arya told her. Sansa felt new tears threatening. At least this time they were happy ones.

"Of course, but before that you... you should probably prepare yourself to see him. I'm told it's been a rough couple years for him," the lieutenant cautioned her.

"I don't care, he's alive and that's all that matters to me."

The lieutenant gave her a tight smile and looked at her brother and father for assistance. But she wasn't listening, all she could think of was the fact that after years of waiting, she was just a few days from being reunited with Jon.

xxxxx

Sixteen Days Later

Sansa walked down the hallway of Walter Reed Hospital carrying a large box. She wore a bright blue sundress; the color of which Jon had once told her brought out her eyes. She was a storm of emotions. Fear, excitement, worry and love all whorled within her.

They had had one phone conversation since he had been found, and calling it a conversation was generous. It had been mainly the two of them sobbing and telling each other how much they loved the other one.

She stopped just outside his room and took a deep breath. He had warned her he had changed, he wanted her to be prepared. Despite her nerves she pasted on a smile and then entered his room. He turned his head from the tv and the moment their eyes met, the tears began for the both of them.

"Jon," she sobbed as she dropped the box down on the floor and rushed into his open arms. He pulled her into a tight embrace and they just held each other, each of their tears bathing the other.

When she finally drew back, she took him in. He looked rough, she could see where bruises and cuts were still fading. But he still had both arms and legs. He was missing the ends of a couple of his fingers though, and his face had several scars. His left eye was covered in a fair amount of gauze. He would keep the eye, but his vision was never the same. She would also learn later on that he had several massive scars on his chest from the torture he had endured. But his appearance didn't matter to her, he was still Jon, he was still handsome to her and more importantly he was alive.

"I can't believe you're alive," she whispered as she carefully caressed his face.

"Me either. But I am, and I'd like to think it's because of you." He ran his hands over her face and into her hair.

"Me?"

"I made you a promise didn't I? I told you I'd come home to you."

She let out a noise that was a combination of a sob and a laugh. "You never actually promised that you know."

"Not out loud I didn't. I just thought that if things went sideways... well I didn't want you to think I had lied. But I did make you that promise, I just did it in my heart instead."

"Oh, Jon," she sobbed and kissed him. "I never gave up on you, you know. Even when they told me it was almost certain you had been killed. A part of me never really believed it," she said as she drew back.

"I would've understood if you had. Two years is a long time to wait."

"I brought you something." She got off the bed and fetched the box. She set it on the side table and opened it. Inside were bundles and bundles of letters.

"What is all that?" he asked looking up at her with a bit of confusion.

"It's every letter that I wrote you since the day they told me you had gone missing." He started to cry again and took her hand.

"Read some to me, please."

She picked up the top letter, removed it from the envelope and snuggled into the bed beside him. He kissed the top of her head as she began to read it aloud.

"Dear Jon..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the "happy" ending. Chapter 4 is the sad ending (true to the song). Since chapter 4 is an alternative ending you do not need to read it unless you want to. Just keep in mind if you do it's it own thing. So the over story is either chapters 1, 2, 3 or chapters 1,2, 4. (Sorry if this note is repetitive - I just don't want anyone to be confused.


	4. The song ending

"Sans," Robb's voice cut through the fog inside her mind. She wasn't sure how long she had been standing there and looking at the lake. She turned and looked at her brother. He forced a weak smile but she knew it was hurting him to stay balanced on his crutches. "I'm gonna take Arya to the diner. You can take all the time you want. Seriously, don't rush, but she's hungry and I need to sit for a bit."

She nodded and watched him limp away to the car where Arya was waiting. He'd lost his left leg just above the knee. He was still trying to get use to his prosthetic, so most days he still found it easier to use his crutches. She had told him he didn't need to come today, that she could do this alone, but he had insisted. He told her he owed it to a fellow brother in arms to see that he got to his final resting place. Arya had insisted as well. They had grown much closer since Jon's death.

She clutched the urn and walked towards the end of the dock. The official funeral had been months ago, but she had wanted to wait until today to spread his ashes. Today was the two-year anniversary of the day they had met. She thought back over the last two year with a mixture of fondness and heartbreak.

It had taken an excruciating six long weeks for her to get his first letter after he had left for Vietnam. It had been the longest six weeks of her entire life. The day his first letter had arrived she had burst into tears, hugging their mailman for a full two minutes while she had sobbed hysterically. It had caused her mother to nearly faint thinking they had gotten a telegram about Robb. It had been left to Arya to peel her off poor Mr. Luwin, apologizing to the old man profusely as she had hauled her inside.

And so their correspondence began anew. She wasn't sure how, but their letters grew even deeper, more passionate. She originally had thought it had been because the night in the motel had more deeply bonded them, but now she realized that it was probably more likely that he was experiencing something so dark and difficult that he likely had felt a deep need to feel connected to her and anything that wasn't Vietnam.

His letters had varied widely. Sometimes they spoke of fond memories, of the lake and his time with her family that Christmas. Sometimes they spoke of her beauty, of the way she smiled and blushed. Sometimes he even wrote of how he recalled the way she smelled and how she had tasted when she came. Those letters always made her blush deeply. They were also the ones she kept in a locked box less Arya find them and blackmail her. But sometimes the letter would take a darker turn. She always told him to be honest, that he did not need to protect her. But when she had received a letter in which he had told her about one of the guys in the platoon being shot in the neck and how he had watched him die in his other friend's arms, she had been deeply shaken. It never got easier, for she would weep for hours each time he lost one of his brothers.

Because of that she did her best to only tell him happy things. Her letters were filled with stories of Arya, Bran and Rickon's antics, of the things Lady or the other dogs did. And in every letter, she made a point to remind him of the life that awaited him once he came home. She promised him her father would help him find a job, that one day they would build a house near the lake. A place where they would eat dinner on the patio in the summer and watch the sunset. He wrote back that he dreamed of those same things, telling her how much her words gave him hope, that her words kept him going no matter how bad it got there.

In the end it had almost worked. Despite everything, he had managed to survive nearly the entire twelve month deployment. In the last letter she had ever received from him, he had told her he would call her as soon as he was state side, but then he had added that he also had half a mind to just show up on her doorstep and surprise her. He told her, not for the first time, that he couldn't want to talk to her father, to ask him for his blessing. He made it clear that he had every intention of marrying her as soon as it could be arranged. Her heart had soared at his words.

Which was probably the reason she had slapped the man that had delivered the Western Union telegram to her. She had opened her front door on a late Sunday winter afternoon, hoping against her better judgement to see Jon standing there. Instead she had been greeted by the news of his death. Her father had been the one to restrain her from doing anything further. She hadn't even realized she had been screaming until she found herself in his arms.

She would learn later on that he had died just five days before he was to come home. His platoon had been caught in an ambush, coming under heavy enemy fire. He had been mortally wounded and yet somehow, he had managed to save some of the other men in his platoon.

One of those men had contacted her shortly after the funeral. He had started by telling her that he owed Jon his life, and if she were ever to need anything, she should let him know. He then told her how Jon had known that he was going to die from his wounds, and so he had stayed behind and laid down cover fire so that the rest of them could evacuate. Finally, he reassured her that Jon had loved her more than life itself, that he often read the funny part of her letters aloud to lift everyone's spirits. "I know it's strange, but I feel like I know you in a lot of ways," Sam had told her.

"Trust me, it's not that strange. I feel exactly the same," she had responded.

She was still in mourning even now, but every day seemed to get just the tiniest bit easier. Or if not easier, she at least cried a bit less each day. Everyone had done their best to be supportive, but she knew they had started to worry she would never recover, that she would spend the rest of her life like this, sadly waiting for a man that was never coming home. She honestly wasn't sure if she would or not, but she did know that even if she did one day move on, she would always in some way mourn the life that could have been.

Today though, she stood at the end of the dock and waited for the fireflies to appear. The sun had finally just sunk below the horizon, and slowly the small lights were beginning to appear along the edge of the lake. It was almost as if she had stepped back in time, to the night that had changed the course of her life, the night that they had met. She had managed to hold it together all day, but in this moment, with the appearance of the fireflies, it was her undoing.

She began to sob, tears sliding down her face and falling into the water. She knew she needed to do this, but when she tried to open the urn she found her hands were shaking too hard. She screamed then. It was piercing and guttural, her voice carrying across the water. She didn't care who heard it or if she frightened anyone, not with the way she hurt inside.

Over her shoulder came Robb's gentle voice, "Let us help you." She hadn't heard them coming back.

"It's not fair," she sobbed.

"I know," he said as Arya took the urn from her. She hugged her brother and cried into his shoulder. As Robb held her she knew there would never be another moment in her life as sad as this one.

Arya waited patiently, and when Sansa finally drew away from Robb, she opened the urn and handed it back to her. "Do you want us to go?" she asked.

"No, stay. I think Jon would like the idea of us doing this together." Arya nodded.

So the three of them sat on the end of the dock as Sansa said her final goodbye, and together they silently spread Jon's ashes over the lake. When they finished Arya and Robb went back up to the car to give her a final moment alone.

She stood looking out over the place that had meant so much to them, a place that she had hoped would be a part of their future. She wiped her eyes and then whispered her final words to him, "Goodbye dearest Jon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to say I'm curious how many people actually read this one......


End file.
